I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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