he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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