matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I had to cum in my sink.
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