Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
