I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish you could order shots online.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
