Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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