PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
And then my night got REAL pukey
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
