I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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