Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
