i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
