yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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