i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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