Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize