Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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