Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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