You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
