I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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