walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
