the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
