now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
