Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he fucked my hip out of place.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
