i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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