i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
