Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
