I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
