Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
