After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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