I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
