My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
