He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
