I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
