giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
