Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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