maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
50% drunk capacity currently
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
