after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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