what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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