I wish life had little blips of pornography
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
