im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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