i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize