when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
