You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize