i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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