I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
