2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
