You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
