Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
