Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize