my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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