What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just had sex on a roof
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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