His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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