return my video game
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
