My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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