i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
