It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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