I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
