i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
