I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
