@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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