You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
