we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
