my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She's the barista slut.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize