Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
