You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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