Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
