She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
