I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
