Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
