Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
