do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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