is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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