Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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