What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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