best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
