we're blogging at a bar
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
