If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
