Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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