Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
