all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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