my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
