I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
