Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize